Hello beautiful people! How are you? I’ve missed you all so much. I’ve spent the past six months on mat leave snuggling with the newest member of our family, Evelynn. After having my son, Emiliano, I wrote four things that surprised me about having a second child. So, I thought it would be fun to now share five things that have surprised me as a new mom of three…
1. The random milestones are just as beautiful as the big ones. With my first daughter, Ella, I couldn’t wait to see her hit her first few milestones, like rolling over or sitting up on her own. Now, as a mom of three, I still get the excitement for those moments. But you know what’s equally amazing? Seeing their startle reflex for the first time — when they wiggle their tiny arms like they’re trying to grab the air, as I gently lower them onto the changing table. I love listening to their snort-like grunts while they nurse. And once they get the hang of walking, I cherish their footsteps pitter-pattering down the hallway. With each baby, I’ve noticed new milestones that melt my heart.
My mat-leave uniform: oversized T-shirts, maternity leggings, and a baby on my boob 🙂
2. The urge to feel like I have it together has dropped significantly. As a recovering people pleaser, I’ve always struggled to ask for help. With my first baby, I did everything on my own. With my second, I started accepting help whenever family and friends offered. But during my pregnancy with Evelynn, I quickly realized that Max and I would need all the help we could get. So, I actually reached out to my mom with a list of chores I was struggling to get done before going into labor — including washing our bedroom sheets and cleaning the toilets (!). Part of me felt nervous asking because the chores felt so personal (again, the toilets!). But I imagined what it would feel like coming home to a disheveled home two-days postpartum, with a newborn, toddler, and four-year-old all vying for parental attention — and the anxiety I felt outweighed the embarrassment of asking. When I returned home from the hospital, my mom and grandma had knocked everything off the list – and coming home from the hospital to clean sheets was BLISS. You can always count on women to get shit done.
My aunt Annette, a true saint who always offers to help with my kids!
3. My desire to help other moms out has risen significantly. Last month, I texted a new friend who has a toddler and five-year-old. She mentioned she was sick, and without skipping a beat I offered to drop off soup for dinner. Now I’m not sharing this to brag, just to say that I felt an immediate need to help because I know how bone-achingly hard it is to be sick with two little kids. Over my five years as a mom, I’ve been so lucky to get support from other moms — by putting away a load of clean dishes when they stop by, or taking one of my kids to the potty at a restaurant so I can finish dinner. Paying these good deeds forward feels like an easy way to honor all of the women who have helped me.
4. The more kids you have, the more clearly you realize how you want to spend your time. Having three kids under five leaves me with around 30 minutes of personal time during the day. I’ve realized I like to be outside working in our veggie garden, or lying in bed reading funny novels (I flew through this one). It feels satisfying to know exactly what brings me energy and joy during this busy season.
5. Seeing the similarities between all your kids is a whole new high.
Seeing your new baby make the same eyebrow smirk that their two older siblings made as babies is magic. (Of course, you can experience this with two kids or if your kids have cousins, too.)
Now I’d love to know, what surprised you after having your first or second or third (or fourth??)? Please share below, I’m all ears! And sending love to those who are wishing or trying for a baby. xo
P.S. Three word that changed how I parent, one thing that surprised Joanna about parenting, and what’s the best age gap between siblings?
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